Tribute to Meghan

Tonight my heart hurts. I just don't know what else to say. 

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before but since having the triplets, I've been inducted into a close sisterhood of Triplet Mommies.  Some had their triplets before mine and they served as a mentor to me.  Ginny, Dawn, Anna, and Olive are some of the moms who guided me through my own pregnancy, answered every question I came up with, and gave me encouragement to keep pushing forward.  Some women already had triplets of various ages when I met them after our trips arrived- Julie, Amy, Michelle, Patricia, Erinn, Mandi, Samantha, Jennifer, Melissa, and Kristen. I have learned much from these women as well. And a few special and wonderful women connected with me while they were pregnant with their triplets.  I was able to mentor them just like others had done for me.  These amazing women are Meghan, Angie, Jennifer, Stacy, and Kimberly. 

Meghan was the first.  I guess she was about 3 months into her pregnancy when we connected.  The triplets were just a few months old and I was still trying to get my feet under me.  But I enjoyed chatting with her and reading her blog.  She read my blog too and commented a lot.  We exchanged a lot of Facebook messages and she always posted on photos of the triplets.  It was so fun to see her trio born healthy and strong. 

Meghan enjoying time with her babies

Meghan had battled cancer on and off for around 5 years.  It started in her late twenties.  Things were pretty stable but sometime last summer she had to have a surgery on her back where some cancer had returned.  The surgery went well and she was recovering.  Then she received another devastating blow that she had tumors in her brain that would have to be removed.  Again, the doctors expected things to go well for her and at first it seemed everything had. 

I had lost track of Meghan after communicating with her back in August but had thought of her from time to time and wondered how she was doing.  I hadn't heard a single thing from her in months.  Tonight I did some digging and found out she passed away at the end of October...just 11 days after her babies' first birthday.  Apparently the surgeries had been successful but she had a sudden massive hemorrhage in her brain while she slept.  It is comforting to know she passed without pain and suffering.  She had plenty of that while here on Earth. 

I know she is wrapped in God's loving arms as I type this but my heart still breaks for her family, her husband, and those 3 amazing miracles she brought into this world.  I know they will have plenty of pictures to see and stories to hear about their mom but it's just not fair they won't have real memories of her of their very own.  Meghan won't have the chance to hear them tattle on each other as they go through the terrible twos.  She won't get to cry when she drops them off at pre-school or follow the bus to school on their first day of Kindergarten.  She won't see them graduate college or marry and have kids of their own.  Please pray for the whole family.  It's been 4 months since she passed and I know there is still much grieving ahead of them. 

Beautiful and loving life.  How she'll always be in my mind.

Update on Big Kid Beds

Transitioning two of the three munchkins into toddler beds has been quite a challenge over the past week or two.  There have been good nights and good naps and there have been bad nights and bad naps.  It has been quite an exercise in problem-solving to keep the kids safe and the room in one piece.  So far the kids have destroyed several books, an entire brand new box of wipes one wipe at a time, a humidifier, a large picture frame, a sack of diapers, and a baby gate.  Oh and Lucas broke a piece of wood off the bottom of his crib and one of the slats off the blinds.  It's a new adventure every day!  Most of the time they have been good with napping at least a couple hours in the afternoon and at least 8 or 9 hours at night.  But there have been afternoons where we were not sure if they slept at all and one night they were up past midnight! Please continue the prayers as we forge through this new time in the kids' lives. 

Lucas's "big boy" bed

Sarah's "big girl" bed

Jake still with his crib...for now

Sarah climbing out of her new bed

A larger view of the whole nursery

Big Boy Bed

Well, we did it.  It wasn't easy but it's done.  All three kids are asleep and Lucas is tucked in his very own toddler bed.  The past few nights and naps have been a challenge.  Lucas was easily climbing out of his bed despite rearranging the nursery to separate all the cribs.  He also found a way to break the baby gate and therefore escape his bedroom.  So after converting his crib to a toddler bed and putting a deadbolt on the nursery door, we have a workable situation again.  Tomorrow we will do the same thing to Sarah's bed.  We think we can hold off for awhile with Jake.  He seems pretty content with his crib.  So far Lucas is loving the freedom to get in and out of his bed.  He's probably already done it a couple dozen times.  Silly monkey!

He's so proud of his big boy bed!

Little Cuckoo Bird

Our little Lucas has been sleeping in his crib for the past 2 years...

And he's NOT going to do it another day!

He has decided that crashing in his brother's or sister's "nest" and cramming them out is a much better option.  Yesterday when we got them up from their naps Lucas was in Sarah's bed.  He slept in her bed again last night.  Today he was in Jake's bed.  I guess he wanted to try out them both.  Tonight he tried to climb into Jake's bed again but Jake was not having it.  He started screaming at the top of his lungs!  So I went into the nursery and put Luke back in his crib.  Just as I closed the door and started walking down the hall I hear "thump".  Lucas is back in Sarah's crib.  She didn't seem to mind too much because they are all quiet now.  Toddler beds are in our very near future.

Day 1: Lucas is edging Sarah out of her nest

Day 2: Lucas is moving in on Jake now

  

Back to Reality

It had to happen.  We had to go claim our children & head home.  But the 2 days we spent in Tennessee were so wonderful.  It gave us a chance to be Kurt and Kelly instead of just Mommy and Daddy. Saturday morning when I woke up in Kurt's arms I felt like the most loved person in the world!  We slowly rose and got dressed and headed out to get breakfast.  We then found this little rustic day spa in a renovated dairy barn and had the best couples massages in the world!  Then after a low-key lunch we headed back to the resort to catch a nap.  Later in the evening we ventured into Gatlinburg and ended up having dinner at The Melting Pot.  This is our favorite place!  The next day we had a hearty breakfast at Flapjacks and headed back to Atlanta.  I'm so glad we had the chance to get away!  And the kiddos had an amazing time at Mimi and Papa's house.  This was the best weekend in a long time!

No kids...no problem!

The past few weeks have been quite stressful. Work has been busy. Kurt & I have had colds. The kids have been acting out as well. We are not sure if it's a response to our struggles or if this is the on-set of the terrible twos. Either way we were tickled when Mimi & Papa volunteered to watch the kiddos for the entire weekend. So Kurt & I are spending a few days in a timeshare in the Tennessee mountains.

The resort is only a few hours away & it was an easy drive. We enjoyed a yummy dinner at Fuddruckers then went for a swim in the indoor pool. Tomorrow we plan to get a couples massage, tour Gatlinburg, then have dinner at The Melting Pot. Seeing all the sights will be fun but we're really looking forward to sleeping in. And maybe catching a nap! So far it has been nice not to have to worry about the kids at all times. We're able to do what we want to do when we want to do it. And it helps knowing the kids are in great hands!

Letter to Me...250 posts later

Wow- another big milestone...250 blog posts!  15,581 views!  When I first started writing this blog I mostly did it to keep family and friends updated on the pregnancy.  I had no idea how writing would actually help me too.  I have poured a lot of heart and soul into every post.  I've used it to vent, to talk about sadness, to celebrate victories, to discuss worries and fears, to brag about my babies, and so much more!  So I thought for this 250th post, I would reflect on the past few years and write a letter to the 28 year old gal who's 6 weeks pregnant and just started this blog.

Dear Kelly,
Hi.  I am you at 31.  I know it's hard to believe but it's true.  Just for verification purposes I will tell you something about yourself that no one else knows.  You have a small scar on your index knuckle of your left hand from a cheerleading accident in high school.  See, it's totally me. 

I know you have just gotten the most shocking news of your life and you are more scared than you are excited.  But I promise you everything works out perfectly and being mommy to these babies is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to you.  I know you are worried about your job, childcare, how you will afford everything they need, transportation, best rest, and even finding a stroller to tote the brood.  Your job is fine.  You find the most amazing "manny" in the world and you get to sleep with him as one of the perks (p.s. it's Kurt).  You just somehow find the money to pay your bills.  Your Dad and Elizabeth will give you a minivan.  You will only be on strict bed rest for 22 days (not too shabby).  Your new friend Ginny will help you get a stroller.  See...nothing to worry about! 

I won't lie to you and tell you it's been all hearts and flowers.  There have been some tough times.  The morning sickness for the first 22 weeks is hellacious!  Just hang in there...it's not forever.  The last 2 months of the pregnancy are pretty tough.  It will be hard to sleep and your belly will hurt a lot.  Try sleeping on an air mattress.  They gave us one in the hospital and it helped so much! Speaking of hospital...try not to complain so much about the month you spend there.  Looking back, it was actually pretty nice.  I know you are scared the babies will come early and will not be healthy.  Rest assured, you carry them 33 weeks and 1 day.  All the nurses and doctors call you a "rockstar".  The NICU days pass quickly and the babies are very healthy.  Oh, and drag Kurt with you to get a damn flu shot!  He gets the swine flu the week the babies come home from the hospital right as your "baby blues" set in.  This is not fun.

You will grieve your old life.  And that's ok.  You will not bond with the babies immediately and you will worry you've made a terrible mistake.  This is ok.  It is completely normal and doesn't last forever.  It's just another hurdle you have to jump.  Not connecting with your babies right away does not make you a bad person or a bad mother.  You just need a little time to adjust and you will be smitten with those little munchkins. 

You cannot imagine the joy you will experience during their first 2 years of life.  Being there for all their "firsts" is just amazing.  Now you have this sweet, caring, funny little girl with long brown hair and blue eyes.  She tries to say everything you say.  She wants to be picked up all the time.  She asks to hold your hand and cuddles with you to watch movies.  She is in every way your little "mini me" except for the hair.  That is all Kurt.  You also have this little chunky monkey man who looks just like his Daddy.  He just has the best smile but is as stubborn as they come.  He's also very sensitive but likes to play rough and tackle you.  Finally, you have your little climber...your little engineer.  He will always find a way to get into everything you don't want him to.  He is so mischievous but has these big blue eyes and this smile that will keep him out of trouble.  He is fascinated with lights and electronics.  Go ahead and start saving for his engineering degree. 

I wanted to write this letter to calm some of your fears and allow you to relax during the next 6 months of pregnancy.  But you won't anyway...I know you.  And that's ok.  It's all part of this unbelievable journey you're on.  Enjoy the ride!

Love, Kelly