Bittersweet Moments

Nothing catches you off guard like a moment that is both sweet and sad.  Many mornings I am up and off to work before anyone wakes up.  But sometimes my schedule makes it so that the kids are eating breakfast as I head off to work, briefcase and purse in hand.  Sometimes Sarah starts waving goodbye to me as soon as she sees me reach for my purse.  She knows that mommy's purse means "bye bye" time.  But the sweetest/sadest moment happened a few days ago with Lucas.  We have a toy that looks like a purple briefcase.  As I was getting ready to head off to work, Lucas picked up the purple "briefcase", waved "bye bye" and headed for the door.  He thought he was headed off to work too.  I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry.  On the one hand it was so precious that he was immitating mommy.  But on the other hand he was imitating me leaving him.  I think most every working mother carries some guilt of not being there with her babies.  This just drove a stake into to core of that guilt.  But I know I'm providing for my family.  So I'll keep heading out the door with that briefcase 5 days a week.  And I'm sure there will be many more bittersweet moments like this along the way.